mercurial scribe

C’mon in, make yourself at home.

You take a seat at the kitchen table, a smooth white lacquered pedestal number with a red lazy Susan presenting a pot of fresh coffee, cream and sugar. I offer you a large mug so you can concoct to your preference as we chit-chat about the cold and rain we’ve been having.

Would you like a brownie? My Mom made them the other night, half with walnuts for her and Husband and half without for me. It is nice of her, but she’s just considerate like that. Do you like yours plain or with walnuts?

I hand you your brownie square and situate myself across from you, mixing my coffee with a heavy sigh.

Distracted? Yeah, I am a little. I’ve just been feeling… off. I don’t know if it’s my meds or a breakthrough mild depression because of the pregnancy. I just have so much going on and don’t feel like I have many people to talk with about it.

What’s going on? There’s just so much changing and so much uncertainty right now. With Miriam coming and my worker’s comp case still in limbo nearly a year later - yeah, it has made money more of an issue than it would have been. And my meds aren’t cheap, though thank God Dr. A works his magic to get me meds at no cost whenever possible. Plus starting a new career, especially your own business, is no easy feat! I feel like I’m doing more marketing and administrative stuff than actual writing.

No, work is going well, I’m just at a frustrating point in the process. I’m building up my portfolio and doing a lot of querying though my acceptance ratio is minimal - which is to be expected at this point. It’s just so lonely working all by yourself all the time! I can’t wait until I have clients I need to contact and discuss a project with because at this point in the game I’m entirely solo. Yeah, the money will be nice too!

You’re right, part of it probably is because Husband went back to work today. It was incredibly nice to have him for two whole weeks. Granted I didn’t have him to myself, but we caught up on a lot of snuggling and video game time. *laughs* I am easy to please! I just like being around him even if we’re not doing the same thing - it makes me feel connected.

It’s weird to so love the writing aspect of the job and yet feel so incredibly isolated from humanity at large. I imagine things will get better once we get a second vehicle, but that is months away. In the meanwhile, what do I do? I try to schedule outings, it’s just I don’t know many other creative professionals and I’d love to befriend some. Precisely, they would understand what I’m going through.

You see me glance at the clock and you ask if time is an issue.

Not as long as you have no problems with frozen lasagna. Want to stay for dinner?