mercurial scribe

“Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.
Six days you shall labor and do all your work,
but the seventh day is the Sabbath of the LORD your God. In it you shall do no work: you, nor your son, nor your daughter, nor your male servant, nor your female servant, nor your cattle, nor your stranger who is within your gates.
For in six days the LORD made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and rested the seventh day. Therefore the LORD blessed the Sabbath day and hallowed it.

I have not been a good Jew.

Since I’ve been pregnant, more Shabbats than not have been spent on the couch in front of the tv after nuking dinner. I have been so tired and so out of it that I have not kept the Sabbath well, God forgive me.

It saddens me because I really do love Shabbat. Prepping the meal for my family, knowing they’ll be starving and so grateful it’s the weekend. Lighting the candles and saying the prayers, knowing that this time is set apart for the Lord and the family He’s given me. A laughing argument over what’s weirder - Mom hoarding tortillas in her desk drawer in her room or Justin leaving his socks everywhere. Teasing Mom and offering her another glass of wine to get her to calm down (she’s bit high strung). Then then a lazy Saturday spent reading and playing with Zoë, maybe a walk and hanging out with friends. Then the Havdalah, lighting the candles and entering into a new week fresh and with joy.

I find it interesting that the commandment is to “Remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy”. So you can keep the Sabbath by observing the laws and rituals, but if you don’t remember (honor) the reason for it, you have not fulfilled the command. And you can remember the meaning of Sabbath but not keep it, which again, leaves the command unfulfilled.

I bring all this up because with the impending birth of Miriam Rose, I want to remember and keep Shabbat every week in our home. I want her to have that heritage, both the physical connection to the Jews throughout the centuries who have kept Shabbat and also the spiritual connection that God in His goodness made Shabbat for our sake. It’s a reminder that we are free, we are to be holy, we are to make our treasures the things that cannot rot or be stolen or discarded.

I’m disappointed in myself for losing sight of this blessing by being overwhelmed with the physical. It does not take much to light candles and pray. It does not take much to keep Shabbat separate for God and family, yet I grew lax from fatigue and carelessness.

But what I’ve learned from this is that if I am to give my little girl this Godly heritage, this precious remembrance of our people and God’s goodness, then I must be vigilant and consistent. Even if it just means candles, prayers, chicken soup and challah, that is good enough to remember and keep the Sabbath. What’s important is that it is remembered and it is kept.

“More than Israel has kept the Sabbath, the Sabbath has kept Israel.”