mercurial scribe

Alas, they sum up my will competing with my head…

`But I don’t want to go among mad people,’ Alice remarked.
`Oh, you can’t help that,’ said the Cat: `we’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad.’
`How do you know I’m mad?’ said Alice.
`You must be,’ said the Cat, `or you wouldn’t have come here.’
Alice didn’t think that proved it at all; however, she went on` And how do you know that you’re mad?’
`To begin with,’ said the Cat, `a dog’s not mad. You grant that?’
`I suppose so,’ said Alice.
`Well, then,’ the Cat went on, `you see, a dog growls when it’s angry, and wags its tail when it’s pleased. Now I growl when I’m pleased, and wag my tail when I’m angry. Therefore I’m mad.’
- Alice in Wonderland

Will write more soon, though when is a question of the hour…

Things i did today:

Washed my hair for the first time since dying it “Deep Burgundy Brown“. (It’s intense and dark - just to my liking, thank you.)

Spoke to a lawyer my attorney about more worker’s comp crap.

Witnessed a car accident in which an Asian girl in her Honda Accord talking on her Nokia cell phone was rear-ended by a overly tatted white guy wearing a white wife-beater in his suped-up low-rider S-10 on his RAZR cell phone because she cut him off. She cried and screamed at him and he yelled ethnic slurs at her and cursed a lot. Can the stereotypes be more enforced, please?

Had to pee so bad i thought i was honestly going to pee my pants in the parking lot of the Honda Center.

Used Justin’s Fantasy Hockey bet winnings to buy *gasp* a Ducks t-shirt.

Witnessed history in the making: THE ANAHEIM DUCKS ARE IN THE STANLEY CUP FINALS!!!

Rode in an elevator with Luc Robitaille (who has a funny laugh and is quite handsome, btw).

Spoke on the air on XM Home Ice’s “Ice Cap” (thanks for taking my call Jamie!).

Witnessed my hubbie and his supervisor comically try to pull a bus into a very tight gated area. At night. In the dark. And they couldn’t figure out how to turn off the bus.

Found a laptop and case in the “freebie” area of our apartment complex. (It’s a college town, so come the end of the semester people pile what they don’t want near the mailboxes and it’s a kind of free-for-all.) The only thing wrong with it: the power plug wires are severed. i think it’s a perfectly good Dell laptop otherwise.

Found myself laughing and nodding as i read all kinds of hockey blogs written exclusively by females. (See Blogroll for the site links.)

An insane and wonderful day indeed.

My body operates under its own unique laws of physics because that is the only explanation. Because you see that weight change there, at the end, over the last 7 days? i lost 6 lbs by doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING DIFFERENT. My water weight percentage stayed the same, the fat percentage dipped ever so slightly.

i am so confused.

Also, you can track my progress HERE. However, be forewarned… the activities may include items of a, er, adult nature.

It is early / late and i am grumpy. So i thought i’d share a few things that have made me laugh.

The Viagra Prank : i wonder if he got generic or name brand?

The Chinese Tattoo Prank : Screwing with the office idiot.

All Men are Bastards

Jewish

Abba-what?

Is It 2008 Yet?

WoW “Serenity Now” recruiting video… worth the first two minutes of nonsense, promise. Background story here.

R.I.P. Mitch Hedburg

Homeland Security

Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About… (this amused me for HOURS!)

Water-Gun Assassin

Bullet-proof Water???

Panic button

And of course, Overheard in New York and Overheard in the Office, and of course, their new sister site, Celebrity Wit.

i hope you’ve laughed until your belly and cheeks ached. In the meanwhile, i’m off to rest…

Before…

And after…

i think it’s a very Snow White meets Jessica Rabbit effect (the latter for Justin, anyhow ).