C’mon in, make yourself at home.
You take a seat at the kitchen table, a smooth white lacquered pedestal number with a red lazy Susan presenting a pot of fresh coffee, cream and sugar. I offer you a large mug so you can concoct to your preference as we chit-chat about the cold and rain we’ve been having.
Would you like a brownie? My Mom made them the other night, half with walnuts for her and Husband and half without for me. It is nice of her, but she’s just considerate like that. Do you like yours plain or with walnuts?
I hand you your brownie square and situate myself across from you, mixing my coffee with a heavy sigh. (more…)
“Slow but steady, steady but slow, that’s the way we always go…”
Since my last post on Wednesday, I have indeed done better. Each day came with a drudgery and slipped away with a little more peace in my heart. Thordora, you’ll be happy to know that while I didn’t indulge in some sappy movies, I did cry and get my emotions out through a book I’m finding very cathartic. (more…)
It’s been months and months since I’ve posted anything about manic depression mostly because I’ve hit a happy place of stability over the past 11 months or so. Sure, there was that bumpy patch in the early summer, but overall I’ve been the most stable I’ve ever known myself to be. But today I felt something that I haven’t felt in a long time…
my heart thumped noisily in my chest… I felt restless… agitated… angry at nothing and everything at once…
Hello, agitated angry dysphoria. I really did not miss you. (more…)
Though the moving process has been a relatively fluid experience and living with my mother has proven to be much more intrinsic and normal than certain people had estimated, I have been a mood swing maven. Blame the bright sun or the re-restart (no, that isn’t a typo) of meds, but whatever you do, don’t remind me I only seem to be feeding the savage beast with sugar and distraction.
In an attempt to keep my sense of humor from souring too much, I will relate my story in the order in which I relate to (more…)
Warning: This is a serious post. It may/may not include discussing sex, batshit insanity, psychotic episodes, rants and pitch-black emotions that most people don’t want to talk about. So if you want happy and fun, ditch this post and go HERE.
I’ve been sans medications for about a week now due to the financial difficulties we are facing thanks to the torturous system of California’s Worker’s Compensation bureaucracy. Things are not progressing well.
(more…)
