Mercurial: (adj) having qualities of eloquence, ingenuity, or thievishness...; characterized by rapid and unpredictable changeableness of mood
Scribe: (n) a writer; specifically: journalist
This is my little self-improvement experiment. Here I discuss mental health, weight loss, debt elimination, parenthood, pop culture and generally whatever gets me thinking. Be forewarned, we go for brutal honesty here; however, I do play well with others and so should you.
“Slow but steady, steady but slow, that’s the way we always go…”
Since my last post on Wednesday, I have indeed done better. Each day came with a drudgery and slipped away with a little more peace in my heart. Thordora, you’ll be happy to know that while I didn’t indulge in some sappy movies, I did cry and get my emotions out through a book I’m finding very cathartic. (more…)
It’s been months and months since I’ve posted anything about manic depression mostly because I’ve hit a happy place of stability over the past 11 months or so. Sure, there was that bumpy patch in the early summer, but overall I’ve been the most stable I’ve ever known myself to be. But today I felt something that I haven’t felt in a long time…
my heart thumped noisily in my chest… I felt restless… agitated… angry at nothing and everything at once…
Hello, agitated angry dysphoria. I really did not miss you. (more…)
I’ve been racking my brain (figuratively and nearly literally) on why, despite my 300 mg of Wellbutrin XL, 10 mg of Lexapro and 50 mg of Seroquel daily I’m STILL depressed.
Then came another bit of bad news: I ran out of Wellbutrin two days ago. Since I have plenty of Lexapro and Seroquel, we decided to double my daily Lexapro to 20 mg a day. And you know what? I’m starting to feel better. And it turns out that MRIs - like Wellbutrin - can poop out on you. (more…)
Despite the fact that to those of us afflicted with this “brilliant madness”, this illness is probably one of the most daunting source for various valid (and invalid) excuses and an endless source of problems. However, FICO doesn’t seem to give one rip that you’re surviving a serious brain disorder; they only care that your creditors were paid late or not at all.
Which is real nice, you know, since our medical bills are significantly higher than, say, the mentally “uninteresting”. I’ve heard quotes of $6,734 on average in the UK and between $11,720 to $624,785 in the States (depending on the number of manic episodes) as lifetime costs for medical care. I can tell you that for the past 3 years, I’ve averaged $3,000 per year and that’s because I’m without medical insurance. That’s not to mention the lost income from the total 8 months of lost work over the past 3 years… so total annual cost? $7,000 a year or $583 a month!
No wonder I’m broke.
What is to be done, then? Believe it or not, there are things you can do to help spare yourself unnecessary hardship and help save your credit score. (more…)
Though the moving process has been a relatively fluid experience and living with my mother has proven to be much more intrinsic and normal than certain people had estimated, I have been a mood swing maven. Blame the bright sun or the re-restart (no, that isn’t a typo) of meds, but whatever you do, don’t remind me I only seem to be feeding the savage beast with sugar and distraction.
In an attempt to keep my sense of humor from souring too much, I will relate my story in the order in which I relate to (more…)
